Painting my younger self

When I was four years old 

I was 44 inches tall. 

I have wanted to do this painting for about a year now and I finally finished it this semester. I did ballet for 15 years; I didn't always enjoy it though. Girls are mean, teachers are tough and I just wanted to dance.

Looking at pictures of myself at four and five years old is such a strange thing. You are looking at yourself but you remember nothing about being that person. I find sadness in that, but also wonder. So while planning this piece I wanted her (myself) to be looking out a window at all the places she could go and all the things she could be. I really, really, really wanted everyone that saw it to have that "awww" moment like when you see a child.

The painting took about 40 hours and I did struggle a lot. Most of the time I would sit and look at it, picturing what I wanted it to look like. I could see the color that the dress needed to be and the glowing blue background and her hair in a bun; a few of my friends sat with me, encouraging me to just put the paint on the canvas.

I love progress pictures of my art...

  

  


The title of the piece is "Who will you be?"

A strange thing happened after I finished it. I felt so protective of her and was hesitant to show it to anyone. It was like I thought she had ears and would hear if someone said something bad about her. I had this immediate feeling of putting her in my car, taking her home and keeping her safe in my bedroom. Because I know what comes after that age. I know what comes after that costume. I just never thought I would feel so strongly about a painting, especially protecting it. Protecting me.

Kayla Audrey