Painting my younger self

When I was four years old 

I was 44 inches tall. 

I have wanted to do this painting for about a year now and I finally finished it this semester. I did ballet for 15 years; I didn't always enjoy it though. Girls are mean, teachers are tough and I just wanted to dance.

Looking at pictures of myself at four and five years old is such a strange thing. You are looking at yourself but you remember nothing about being that person. I find sadness in that, but also wonder. So while planning this piece I wanted her (myself) to be looking out a window at all the places she could go and all the things she could be. I really, really, really wanted everyone that saw it to have that "awww" moment like when you see a child.

The painting took about 40 hours and I did struggle a lot. Most of the time I would sit and look at it, picturing what I wanted it to look like. I could see the color that the dress needed to be and the glowing blue background and her hair in a bun; a few of my friends sat with me, encouraging me to just put the paint on the canvas.

I love progress pictures of my art...

  

  


The title of the piece is "Who will you be?"

A strange thing happened after I finished it. I felt so protective of her and was hesitant to show it to anyone. It was like I thought she had ears and would hear if someone said something bad about her. I had this immediate feeling of putting her in my car, taking her home and keeping her safe in my bedroom. Because I know what comes after that age. I know what comes after that costume. I just never thought I would feel so strongly about a painting, especially protecting it. Protecting me.

Kayla Audrey

"Litany" by Billy Collins

One of my favorite poems from my poetry class this semester was titled "Litany" by Billy Collins 

Read the Full Poem HERE

This is a free verse poem written in 2002. There are SO many similes and beautiful imagery that I want to talk about and connect. The intro to Poetry class has given me the tools to see the art different. 

You are the dew on the morning grass
And the burning wheel of the sun
…
I am the sound of rain on the roof
I also happen to be the shooting star
And the evening paper blowing down an alley

The speaker does not just describe the person they are talking to and love in similes, but also them self. She is described as dew on the grass maybe because she is fresh, new every morning, but will soon dry up with the day. I enjoyed the next line about being the burning wheel of the sun when Collins added the word “wheel”. She is a source of light and life like the sun, but she is changing, turning and possibly going somewhere. Describing himself, there is also sound imagery used. Rain is calming, even during storm or maybe a rough time in their relationship. When you hear rain on a roof you are inside, safe and have shelter. In comparison to the sun he describes her as, he describes himself as a shooting star. Still an image of something burning, a light in the sky, but he is more impermanent. He will burn up quickly after exciting you with his beauty and rarity of sighting.

I like how this poem describes love and relationship from many angles and does it tremendously effectively. Love makes you feel many feelings, sometimes at the same time. In the line “ and the evening paper blowing down an alley” he feels forgotten, alone and maybe once loved or once used. Now he has been read and disregarded. In fact, the second lines of the last two stanzas involve images of things that are all familiar, used and forgotten, even though the items contrast as a evening paper in an alley and a tea cup. It matters thought who is holding the cup; a blind woman.

The use of the word blind is nice too. I think it serves two purposes. Love is blind and it will always be blind; this poem describes this over and over. But also he describes himself as the blind woman, but is possibly describing her as blind. It’s one of those, i’ll admit that I’m doing something wrong in a way that you might realize you are at fault as well. For months I have been saying to him “I’m scared you won’t like me when you get back” but really I was scared that I wouldn’t like him anymore.

The poem ends with him comparing her to the wine again. How she will always be the wine, and adds the word “-somehow-“ with the dashes. I love the sense of intoxication, and if this is a departing poem, it lets us as readers know that if they meet again, or hook up, he will still -somehow-, all things aside, be intoxicated by this girl.

The Kind of Writer I am

The last line of this quote describes me as a writer.

I am slow to choose my words, but once you get me going I cannot stop. I have loved to write for years. I've been journaling every day since October 30th 2007. I enjoy writing short stories, poems, and day to day thoughts. Writing is the best way that I know how to express myself. I am a very emotional person and like finding the words to express emotions. I love unpacking poetry and seeing how other people use, manipulate and challenge language.

When it comes to academic writing, I am not a fan. There are too many rules and objectives for me. Most of the time I cannot put my voice into it. Word requirements. Research. I like writing for me and like constructive criticism, I don't like getting graded. I feel it takes the fun out of it. I like writing something and amazing people with the organization, the word choice and character development.

Documentaries I've watched lately

I recently purchased a Netflix subscription and have watched a lot of Documentaries. Here are some of the one of the ones that I enjoyed;

Black Fish 
My sister and I watched this documentary together and we found it so fascinating. The documentary was so well done and was told by previous Sea World trainers who worked with the animals. They were never made aware of the dangers and were blinded by the amazing job they had as young, animal loving people. The film did a great job of giving all of the background information on the incidents at past aquatic show stadiums and specifically Tilikum the whale's journey. Footage from his capture was shown, all the way up until the incident that occurred in 2010 where he killed Sea World Trainer Dawn Brancheau.

A light was also shed on how Sea World and their employees will tell the public that the killer whale life span is only 40 years or so, but in the wild they live over twice that. When kept in captivity, their top fin will become soft and flop over, where in the wile it never does this. Captivity affects they physically and emotionally. Especially Tilikum, who has been in captivity from the time he was two years old, the whales become aggravated and violent. 

I was glad to hear that Sea World is no longer going to capture killer whales and they will not be on advertisements for their company. After the whales that they have pass, they won't have anymore.

L.A. 92
After watching this documentary and realizing the significance of the events, I was startled that I had not known they happened. Everyone should watch this film.

I'm going to say early on that there were many times where I wanted to stop watching because I was very angry. The film did an amazing job gathering news converge, police radio, and film taken from the riots that broke out after the verdict in the Rodney King trial.

For me, the most impactful part was when the film showed people being dragged out of their cars and trucks at intersections and beaten. They were left in the middle of the road, bleeding. I had the heaviest feeling in my chest and was upset to see humans doing this to humans for no reason. These people were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Manhunt: Unabomber 
Whenever I wear a jacket with a hood my mom says that I look like the unabomber. I never knew who he was and obliviously assumed that he was not the nicest guy, but I didn't know the details.

This was a 8 part series on Netflix that was amazing. The actors were great and I liked how the events were arranged; there were flashbacks from the time of the bombings, and the trial. The film showed the FBI's process and then had flashbacks to Ted Kaczynski's childhood and college years.

Rhetorical Analysis Presentation

"Choose Go!"

- Nike Add Posted this week on 2/28/18

What does it want us to think or do?
Inspires us to move by coming up with a fictional situation that the world stopped turning.

There are two views that you can look at this from; the world has physically stopped moving (or turning) OR the people have stopped moving (being active). 

Nike is a company that, I believe, most people trust or at least have a positive regard for. I think their company has a good Ethos reputation; the things portrayed in their ideas and the emotions they create in us, we trust them. They are very creditable. We know they are a VERY large company that we can count on, especially when it comes to fitness.

The add uses a compelling, almost action-movie-like story that keeps us watching. Then also uses celebrities and humor to keep us moving through the add and the story.

It's inspiring because there's the idea that we keep the world moving; we have power and influence and can change the world.

There's a little disconnect with the whole end-of-the-world situation and it's Logical appeal; the world is probably not going to stop turning, but they did a great job with the realistic news coverage and the shadow images on the cities, forests and sport fields.

Nike always does a great job with their marketing, but when I was researching adds for this project the Nike commercial actually came up as the add- for the add lol. Nike spends over 1 Billion on advertising and endorsements (Marketing goals).

What is Printmaking?

I am an art student here at Lewis and this semester I am in an advanced Printmaking class. When I took the Intro to Printmaking class last semester I really didn't know what printmaking was. It's actually a lot of different things, just like how there are different styles of paintings.

The first method of printmaking we learned used linoleum. We would get a sheet and used tools to carve away at the surface to create an image.

Here is one of the linoleum carvings I have done.

After you carve out all the spaces you want white on your image, then you apply ink with a roller. Then you transfer the image and ink onto the paper by applying pressure. Then you get super cool images; the ones below are products of the lino cuts above.

The next method we learned was mono-printing. Like the name suggests, there is only one image that you can pull from it. You get the image by rolling out a thin layer of ink on glass, putting two pieces of paper on top of it and then drawing on the back of the top paper so the ink transfers onto the paper under it. If you uses a textured roller you get a fuzzy image like the one I did below;

If you use a smooth roller, you get a more crisp and clear image like the one I did below. I also included the picture of what the glass looks like after the ink has been transferred onto the paper.

The last method we learned was another carving method where we took glass and carved an image into it. After we have the image,  then we put ink into those groves and wipe it off the surface of the glass. Then we put the paper and the glass through a press in the art department. The image is transferred onto the paper and then looks like this;

If I had to choose what my favorite method is it would be the carving into linoleum. I like being able to create a stamp using it over and over again, using different colors and different types of paper. The photo with all of the leaf prints above was so much fun to do! I am a very pattern oriented person and that is all printmaking is; you make the stamp and then you mix the ink, stamp it, clean your utensils, mix more ink and do it again. I can make 200 images- and I probably have- with the same stamp. All of the prints that you make that look the same are called "editions" and you put the number at the bottom left of the paper.

I like the mono- prints and how they look, but you can only make one.

I like the result of the glass carvings, but I really don't like the process. Art is all about enjoying the process as much as the result.

-Kayla

Why Catcher in the Rye (Part 2)

“The best thing…in that museum was that everything stayed right where is was. Nobody’d move. You could go there a hundred thousand times...nobody’d be different. The only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you’d be so much older or anything. It wouldn't be that exactly. You’d just be different, that’s all...Certain things they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone. I know it's impossible, but it's too bad anyway” (Salinger 135-136).

My favorite passage in The Catcher in the Rye is when Holden talks about a history museum. He went on school field trips to it when he was younger. Salinger does a tremendous job of putting the reader into the scene. His strong details and childlike view on this museum are so genuine and sweet.

This passage is the greatest mirror in the book that I believe people can identify with.

We all have things in our lives that we would like to stay the same. When we are feeling happy, we’d like to stay happy. As parents, we’d like our children to stay young. When you are apart of a team or group, you don't want the season to end. This is the main theme of the book; trying to keep the wonderful, pure, innocent things the way they are.

As Holden ends his long, beautiful, ramble, he gives us this last thought (it's kinda long, but stick with me).

"You'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat this time. Or the kid that was your partner in line last time had got scarlet fever and you'd have a new partner... or you'd heard your mother and father having a terrific fight in the bathroom. Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way- I cant explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it" (Salinger 158)

But he is explaining it! And what do all of those things have to do with anything? I don't know but wow is Salinger a great writer. I can see all of it in an observant, childlike way. I find it beautiful. I love tangents because they give a glimpse to what we think about, even subconsciously.  Holden does this a lot and it tells us so much about him and makes us care about him more. It's vulnerability at it's best.

Holden has a younger sister named Phoebe and he gets on this tangent when thinking about how she is probably going on the same field trips, seeing the same things he saw when he was her age. That's very comforting to him; even though his youth cannot stay or be gone back to, other kids are experiencing it and keeping it in the present.

God I love this book. If you have not read it, I strongly encourage it. Or, you could just read this part of the book; it does not give anything away and can stand alone. It's toward the end of chapter 16.

-Kayla

"Pandora's Promise"

Along with the documentary that I watched for my paper, I also watched the 2013 documentary "Pandora's Promise".

My dad is a nuclear Engineer, so when I read the summary and watched the trailer it interested me. I have grown up having nothing but positive thoughts about nuclear power because it is my family's source of income. But growing up, in science classes I started to hear the negative accusations and effect of nuclear power plants.

After I read about the documentary on the list Dr. Kyburz's list and watched the trailer I showed it to my dad and he asked if I wanted to watch it with him. I few nights later we watched the documentary. It was kinda weird for me in the beginning watching it with him because there were a lots of nasty things said as the film opened. The nuclear industry is my dad's lively hood, this career of over 25 years and how he supports his family and, in the moment, I kinda regretted having him watch it. 

The documentary then went onto discuss the common misconceptions of nuclear energy and give facts to them being untrue. They also included explanation of the the real and valid danger of nuclear energy, explaining how it can go wrong, but also the procedures plants and the NRC have to keep the public safe at all costs. There was a lot of information about the formation of nuclear power and how it works. I knew most of this stuff just by talking to my dad over the years. 

There was one scene that really stood out to me; when discussing how nuclear is the only large threat to the coal plants, they showed articles promoting solar power THAT WERE FUNDED BY THE COAL PLANT COMPANIES! That was something my dad pointed out after too. It's crazy because they know that things like wind and solar alternative energies will not keep you with the public's demand for power by themselves. On days when it is not super windy or sunny then the coal plants will have to fill the demand.   

The topic comes up in any discussion about Nuclear Power; they explained the disaster at Chernobyl Power plant in Russia in 1986. Anti nuclear activists will yell about millions of people and babies dying because of this event, but the documentary provided evidence and records of not one person dying due to overexposure of radiation in or around the area of the disaster. 

This came as a surprise to me because I always assumed that everyone is the area was killed. Then the documentary said that 20% of people around the world will get cancer in their lifetime and many will die. Obviously people in Russia and in Japan after their nuclear malfunction in 2012 will freak out when they get cancer and blame it on the nuclear plant, when humans will get cancer and die of it anyway, nuclear plants or not. 

I really liked the documentary and I encourage others to watch it. There was a lot that I did not know and there was a lot explained that added to my knowledge of nuclear power. (I also got to spend time with my dad while I watched it, which does not happen too often). 

Kayla Audrey  

Documentary Review

I watched the "My Kid Could Paint That" Documentary, directed by Amir Bar-Lev . As an art student I really enjoyed it and found it  inspiring. I do a lot of realism, what you see is what you get, art. I like architecture and shoes and faces; I have never even tried my hand abstract art.

Marla's story is so sweet. She was only three when she started painting and sold her first painting for $250. I loved the one picture of her sitting on the dinning room table in her diaper painting. I loved the home videos of her painting, not only to see how she creates her work, but to see this very small person painting on a huge canvas! It's adorable seeing her choosing her paint color and brushes and creating. 

Abstract art to me has always been a little intimidating because I can never imagine how to begin. Where on the canvas? What color? And an even bigger question to me, when can you tell when the piece is complete? When I create my art I like to visualize it. Some people can visualize abstract; I am not one of those people.

One of the journalists that covered Marla's story, Elizabeth Cohen, made an amazing comment at the end of the documentary. She said, 

 "The whole story is really about grownups. She's just a little girl painting in her house"

Ahhh I loved that quote because it's so true. If you take away all of the money and the news articles and all of the speculation, you just have a girl who loves to paint-and paints very well. She's also four years old and has way more success than almost any other artist alive. All artists are waiting for their big break and for the public to acknowledge their work. Marla had the art work in a frenzy for her work, and I think had a lot of artists, who have been working for years and years, very jealous. She's a four year old, doing abstract art. She has not been practicing for years and she really has not  sacrificed anything, other than her privacy during the end of the documentary, and she's doing it for fun. People are coming to her and paying thousands of dollars. Who wouldn't be jealous of her? 

Even though I am not an abstract artist, I would like to try a piece or two this semester. Maybe I will post them to my blog, if I like how they turn out. 

-Kayla Audrey 

2018